Peter Stell, counsellor supervisor, counselor at Aegis offers supervision for professional counsellors. BACP, UKRC registered, member of Group Analytic Society (London). Based in Spalding, Lincolnshire UK.
Revd Dr Peter D. Stell - Counselling Consultant
8 Van Gogh Drive, Spalding
Lincolnshire PE11 3HU

Telephone 01775 762546
Mobile 07947 139929


E-mail:
Senior BACP Accredited and Nationally Registered Counsellor and Psychotherapist
Attachment Based Psychotherapist
Member of the Group Analytic Society International
Member of the British Psychological Society

Attachment Theory is all our relationships from the cradle to the grave. It's our story, our journey and our direction of travel…

Attachment based psychotherapy involves working with clients (adults, young people and families) to help understand how their history impacts on their present, including how established patterns in relating to others gets repeated over and over again, like a stuck record. Therapy aims to understand the reasons why people end up repeating such negative patterns, even when they truly do not want to. Sometimes people are aware of aspects as to why they keep falling into these stuck ways of being, but more often than not these ways of relating are out of conscious awareness.

Therapy is the place to begin to piece together aspects of the puzzle that lead people to behave in the ways they do. The therapeutic process can involve giving time and space for the working through of painful and difficult feelings, memories or episodes in a person's earlier life that are attempting to be heard and understood through these repeated patterns. Once these patterns have been worked through, people are more able to move on to embrace a life that more closely matches the hopes and dreams people have for themselves.

Therapy is the place to begin to piece together aspects of the puzzle that lead people to behave in the ways they do
What is Attachment Based Psychotherapy?
we recognise that our carers cannot manage emotional distress

What is Attachment Based Psychotherapy?

Attachment Theory, on which attachment therapy is based, is the way we describe how we learn to be around people when we are utterly dependent as babies or infants. Ideally, our carers (usually our parents) were loving and available and could be trusted to respond to our physical and emotional needs, leading us to become securely attached. Being securely attached is known to link to a healthy mind and body, and the ability to form happier, healthier relationships as we develop.

However, if as babies we recognise that our carers cannot manage emotional distress, we innately learn to suppress our feelings, leading to develop an avoidant attachment style. As we grow up, we can feel disconnected from feelings and emotions and tend to keep people at arm's length, seeing the world through a very rational lens.

Sometimes, the only way to get the attention we needed in infancy was to be more clingy and needy, leading to a more preoccupied or ambivalent attachment style. This can lead us as adults to form very close, almost suffocating relationships with people. Here, we can find ourselves feeling overwhelmed by emotion, making it hard to see the wood for the trees.


If in our early childhood, we experienced our carers as frightening (violent, aggressive or abusive), or appeared themselves to be frightened (perhaps trying to manage their own emotional distress), this also can have a profound impact on the way we develop. Here the carers are both the source of distress, and also the source of comfort, which is difficult for a very young person to manage. As a result, on top of secure, avoidant or ambivalent attachment styles, we may develop a disorganised attachment style. This attachment style tends to surface at times when we feel under threat of some sort. If in our early childhood, we experienced our carers as frightening
attachment has shaped the way in which a person relates to the world
As an attachment based psychotherapist, I aim to understand how attachment has shaped the way in which a person relates to the world and to themselves. This happens both through the material the client discusses, and how it feels to be working together. I pay special attention to how therapist and client relate to each other - essentially, what it feels like to be in the same room together. I aim to offer clients what John Bowlby called a 'safe haven' and a 'secure base' – somewhere for people to feel safe when they're struggling with relationships, and as they gain confidence in that secure base, to venture out into the world again. Establishing a working alliance, a partnership, a trustworthy therapeutic relationship, is key to the work I do with young people, adults and families, and is what sets attachment based psychotherapy apart from some other forms of therapy where the relationship is second to the model or structure.

Facebook
Revd Dr Peter D. Stell - Counselling Consultant
Telephone 01775 762546 Mobile 07947 139929
E-mail:
Twitter
Senior BACP Accredited and Nationally Registered Counsellor and Psychotherapist
Member of the Group Analytic Society International
Member of the British Psychological Society